


In Some Sad Way

by three_days_late



Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, FebuWhump2021, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Whole Cake Island, Whump, accidental dickishness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/three_days_late/pseuds/three_days_late
Summary: He had wanted many things, growing up on Germa. He’d wanted to see his mother, when she was alive, and he wanted her back once she wasn’t. He’d wanted his sister to comfort him when his brothers went too far. He’d wanted many, many times for his brothers to just stop. He’d wanted his father to love him.Money bought him none of that.
Relationships: Nami & Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Febuwhump 2021 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139261
Comments: 4
Kudos: 105
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	In Some Sad Way

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kinda obsessed with the idea that growing up Sanji had the one thing that Nami wanted (money) and Nami had the one thing Sanji wanted (love). Also thinking about how much Nami actually know about Sanji's past.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> This is for the [Febuwhump](https://febuwhump.tumblr.com/) day 10 prompt: "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

They were a few days away from Whole Cake Island, course set straight to Wano, and everything was settling back to normal. It wasn’t completely back to normal, Luffy had taken to lingering in the kitchen when he was making snacks and meals instead of playing on deck, Carrot would sit alone on the crow’s nest for hours on end at night, and Chopper and Brook came up with weak excuses to stay by his side, but it was getting there.

The biggest lack of normalcy was with his precious Nami, who was acting cold and distant to him. She had said she would never forgive him for fighting with Luffy the way he did, but he didn’t realize she would take it so to heart.

Well, he knew he fucked up. He’d just have to do his best to try and deserve her forgiveness, even if it took the rest of his life.

Sanji knocked lightly on the door to the library, a glass of orange sorbet he crafted with love just for her.

“Yeah?” Her voice came through the door muffled.

“It’s me, Nami,” he cleared his throat and tried his best not to fidget, “I brought you a snack.”

There was a pause, in which Sanji did fidget, his heart hammering in his chest as he braced himself for the oncoming rejection.

“Okay,” she said eventually.

His face broke out in an elated grin as he opened the door.

Nami was sitting at the desk, pouring over what looked like a map of Tottoland. He was impressed with the level of detail despite her only having been on a handful of the islands. He considered complimenting her on her flawless memory and phenomenal cartography, but she hadn’t even looked up from the map when he entered, and he didn’t want to distract her from her work.

He placed the sorbet away from the map on a nearby table, close enough so that it was in reach when she wanted it, but far enough away that it wouldn’t accidentally spill on the map.

She glanced at it briefly, then turned back to her map.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked, “Tea, maybe? Some pastries or fruit?”

“I’m good.”

He watched her for a bit as she skillfully wrote down the coordinates for what looked like Chocolate Island.

He clenched and unclenched his fists for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry.”

Her eyes slid over to him. He swallowed thickly but pressed on.

“I’m sorry I fought Luffy, and you had to watch that,” he winced as he remembered that terrible night in Water 7 when Usopp and Luffy dueled. He had seen the stricken look on her face as they fought, had felt the dread and frustration himself when all he could do was stand there and let it happen. And then he went and did the same thing to her again.

He was scum. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness.

He took a deep breath and continued, “I’m sorry I left you all behind on Zou like that. I just,” he bit his lip and glanced out the window. The sunlight sparkled on the ocean as the ship moved on to their next adventure, an adventure he’d all but given up on a few days before.

“I thought I could handle it myself,” he glanced back at her. She had put her quill back in its inkwell and was staring at him, eyes cool and impassive as she took him in, “I didn’t want to get you involved in any of that. With any of them.”

She stared at him for the longest moment. Eventually she picked up the sorbet and took a bite.

[Feuwhump](https://febuwhump.tumblr.com/)

His heart soared as she ate it, her face relaxing as she enjoyed it.

“I’m not mad at you for that,” she said, “At least, not anymore. You were just being you and doing what you thought was best, even if it was needlessly stupid.”

“Oh,” he smiled, his heart feeling lighter already, “I’m glad to hear it.”

But, her eyes were still cold and distant. She was clearly enjoying the sorbet, but a frowned remained etched on her face.

“Is there, something else troubling you, my dear?” he asked.

She pursed her lips and tapped her foot against the leg of the desk, “It’s just, you’re a prince. You’ve been a prince this whole time.”

“I was, yes,” he shifted a bit, uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, but he’d decided to be more open and forthcoming about his past with his friends, so he pressed on, “But that was a long time ago. I’m sorry I never told you, but I didn’t think it was relevant anymore.”

She frowned, swirling the sorbet with her spoon, “How old were you, when you left Germa?”

“Eight. Maybe nine.” He’d lost track of time for a bit in the dungeon, but he didn’t think he was down there a full year, and he was definitely ten by the time the Baratie opened. 

She hummed and tapped the spoon against her lips, “It’s, frustrating, I guess is the word.” She finished the sorbet and pushed the glass aside with a sigh, “We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, and I would have given just about anything to live in a fancy castle and wear clothes that weren’t hand-me-downs.” She glanced at the picture on her desk, of her and her sister and her mother in happier times, and clenched her fist, “Bellmere died because we didn’t have enough money. And you grew up having plenty. Not wanting for anything. And you gave it all up.”

He had wanted many things, growing up on Germa. He’d wanted to see his mother, when she was alive, and he wanted her back once she wasn’t. He’d wanted his sister to comfort him when his brothers went too far. He’d wanted many, many times for his brothers to just _stop_. He’d wanted his father to love him.

Money bought him none of that.

“I guess it all worked out, in the end. I mean, we never would have met you if you’d stayed in North Blue,” she reasoned, then sighed, “But it’s frustrating that you had the one thing that I’d grown up desperately wanting and you turned it away like it was nothing.” She looked at him, “Did you know, when you left, that people would have killed to have had the life you were living?”

“I highly doubt that.”

She laughed, and it pierced something in his chest and made him feel small, like he was that eight or nine year old kid again, locked away and forgotten.

“Oh yes, who wouldn’t want to live in the lap of luxury, having all your needs met and all your wants handed to you on a silver platter. Sounds absolutely terrible,” she snorted.

He remained silent, so she continued, “Why did you leave, anyway? The thrill of adventure? Did you just get bored of having everything?”

“I,” he clenched his fists and looked at the ground, “I wasn’t wanted.”

“Oh, Daddy didn’t love you enough?” He flinched, and she continued, “Seems like something having your own pony could fix.”

She laughed again, and he looked away.

“So, what, you ran away to teach your father a lesson and just forgot to go home again?”

“I...sort of.” He paused, waiting to see if she wanted to say anything else. When she didn’t, he gripped his arm tight and continued, “I guess, I just thought if he wanted me gone so much, then I might as well leave.”

“What do you mean, if he wanted you gone?”

He glanced at her quickly, her gaze had softened a bit and she leaned forward, elbows on her knees, but looked away. He didn’t really want to talk about it, but he had promised himself he wasn’t going to hide things from them anymore.

“I mean, he wished I’d never been born. When I left, he told me he would have had me killed, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill his own blood.” He laughed, loud and sharp, startling them both, “Fucker starts wars and trains his kids to be perfect soldiers and kills his wife, but filicide is just one step to far. And shit, you’ve met me. Who wouldn’t want to kill me?”

He shook his head, and barreled forward, “Well, since he couldn’t bring himself to kill me, he instead locked me in the dungeon and pretended I never existed. Or, he told everyone I died, locked me in the dungeon, then pretended that I never existed. Put this giant metal mask on me to cover my face and everything, made me a complete non-entity.”

Nami’s eyes went wide, her mouth parting slightly as if she wanted to say something.

“But you’re right, I didn’t want for anything. They fed me plenty, and if I wanted something the guards would get it for me,” he chuckled, “Well, everything except the key.”

“Sanji...”

“But maybe it was selfish of me to leave,” he shrugged, “I could still be there, living in my little prison, getting everything I could want except human contact. Everyone’s lives would be much better off anyway. Zeff would still have his leg. Luffy could have gone straight to Wano and kicked Kaido’s ass already. You wouldn’t have had to have been put through,” he waves vaguely in the air, “All that. Actually, maybe I could-”

Arms wrap around his torso, holding him tight. Nami was hugging him and trembling, and shit, fuck, he went too far. This is why he didn’t tell people anything about himself, he was too fucked up. It was all too much.

“I’m sorry,” she said, clutching at the back of his shirt, “I didn’t know.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“I got caught up thinking about my own stuff,” she squeezed him tight and looked up at him. Her smile was soft and open as she reached up to cradle his face, “Of course it’s good that you left, whatever the reason. We want you here.”

He covered her hand with his and took a deep breath, “Thank you.”

She smiled, wide and cheerful as she let go, “I changed my mind.”

“About what?”

“Tea. I would like one after all,” she said as she sat back down at her desk, “Make one for yourself too. We can sit and talk, if you want.”

His heart burst with joy, the invitation to spend time with Nami completely wiping away to dark mood from before.

“That sounds perfect.”


End file.
